It is hard work to convince parents with tiny babies to pay attention to their needs and take better care of them. There are many reasons why parents cannot even imagine that they must be priority number one. According to many, it sounds unrealistic and selfish.
Postnatal parents who come to me for support are always tired. I can't ignore this simple fact. It means that long lectures about self-care will not work, and usually, I don't spend much time on it.
I created a simple metaphor to gain parents' attention and help them change their mindset. This metaphor needs a few minutes to draw a flower. The flower represents their child. At the beginning of its development, the flower is fragile and sensitive and requires special conditions to get stronger and grow into a well-established plant.
What does a flower or any young plant needs? Yes, - Water, sunlight, warm temperature and fertile soil. We can say the same about the dependent on the caregiver's child.
Soil is a metaphor for a parent's emotional state.
And emotional balance here is crucial. Daily care and capacity to meet a child's needs is an allegory for Water.
Sunlight is a symbol for smiles and engaged conversation.
Warm temperature is a metaphor for touch, cuddles, and kisses. Altogether, they play a vital role in building healthy attachment and bonding.
At the beginning of a child's life, the well-being of parents is paramount for successful development. Parents are the environment, nature, and the entire universe of the child.
Yes, it is hard to take care of yourself, but not impossible. Two things can help parents:
To re-arrange priorities. It is a time when many things can be postponed or cancelled for the sake of good sleep or sleep recovery.
To ask for help from family, neighbours, community groups, professionals.
Usually, after the conversation, I give parents my drawing and ask them to find a place for it on the fridge. Not because it's a piece of art, not at all, just because it will remind them that they can't be a dry soil, it will affect the child for a lifetime.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck or even depressed, please don't hesitate to contact me.
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